In all my years of being on this Earth, I never would think my life would end up being an avacate for special needs, adopt a child with autism, begin education as a BCSE {Board Certified Advocate for Special Needs}.  Here's my journey through it all. 

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Back in the year of 2017 I was not a believer, didn't want to hear anything about Jesus, read the book or listen to Christian music much so find myself in church.  I knew everything I needed to know about what I wanted to do and become as I grew to indulge in my own understandings of who I was becoming. I was working in the medical field and had my own childcare business since 1996. I had a husband, children, stepchildren, family, friends, house, car and my freedom - so I thought! 

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My daughter came to me in August and said she was pregnant, she had no job, no home, with a significant other who was in the same boat but was not someone who needed the title of dad, father or any other title for that matter.  My opinion.  I will leave out many details because it really doesn't matter, just know it matters how we got here now.  

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My daughter was forced to come live with us until Eli was born., and she did.  Eli was born in May and changed my life forever. Eli never slept, my husband was never around, family slim to none and i worked all the time being a single parent and taking care of Eli.  He had trouble eating and sleeping since day one.  I did not know what was happening with him.  We were in hospitals, dr offices, urgent cares and anywhere we could find answers to what was happening.  Around six months old we found many things wrong. He wasn't meeting his milestones, eating or drinking, not really moving, not sleeping for weeks and if he did they were 20-minute naps. I continued this path of life for the first two years.  The first two years were unimaginable dr appoints for various things, not to mention surgeries have had 

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The first two years he has had 5 eyes surgeries, Dental surgeries, a tongue and lip surgery and a personal surgery you all can figure out.  Upon the 19th month as it seems normal to keep attending dr visits every week, we had a dr visit I would never forget.  Eli wasn't meeting his milestones as they would have liked and if he did, he was extremely early on some.  Such as walking was at 5 months, crawling came after walking and drinking a bottle as he should and eating finger food but exceptional picky.  He wasn't turning over, moving like most children his age, banging his head, rocking back and forth and just laughing all the time. Eli's arms were flapping and he would clap and move his arms in ways I couldn't understand how they bent and turned in those positions. Eli would scream, yell, yelp, grab, bite pinch and hit.  The big thing he loved was being alone. 

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Does this sound familiar to some?  

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All of my believes in the world could not make me understand or imagine the news that Eli had autism at the age of 19 months.  My world came crashing down and I was so in denial.  I hated being who I was, my world was ruined, i had no life, my thoughts were so scattered, i had no one to confide in that would understand me, my freedom was gone and I just felt life was over.  UNTIL....

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I found the courage through a God I did not know, music I never listened too, a book called the bible that I thought was a joke and didn't make sense to me and a church sermon who all they wanted was money to answer prayers and your time to make them look good.  I was so betrayed by my own thoughts and neglected in my life that I became so much in denial that I had no choice but to find strength and courage in God. Ive heard that if I called out to him, he says he would never leave or forsake us. I had no one anyhow, so I chanced it and "pressed my luck" 

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During these hard times of finding Jesus, a new diagnosis with autism in Eli, no one to confide in I reached out to get help on services within my county. I was relieved but then I wasn't sure.  I have attached to him so hardh that my trust in people didn't exist.  All services that were in place for Eli before the age of three were in home so I can monitor what was happening. My first concern was Eli and nothing else.  

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Preschool started and he was already carrying an autism diagnosis, so an IEP was in place for education purposes.  At this point we were homeschool because covid-19 was in effect and lockdowns were mandatory.  Two years of preschool {head start} in the books now Kindergarten.  Still fighting with myself but not as bad, this journey was nothing short of easy or encouraging.  Instead of soothing a boy who needed it, I was soothing myself and comforting myself in my times of uncertainty. I started believing that there could be a cure, some sort of medication, therapy, a whole lot of prayer of a miracle.  

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Enrolling in public school with dr visits, therapies starting and medication I prayed on day and night was just a blob of loss of brain function, and no sleep.  Man, it was very hard to adjust to such a dramatic schedule. Kindergarten was full time, dr appointments afterwards or on the weekends, speech therapy, OT therapy, getting on as a list for ABA and a list it was {3-5 years long}, feeding therapy, PT and resources in home. More challenges came about right before Christmas breaks of that year.  Eli was getting truancy notices due to so many Dr appts.  I decided at that moment to enroll him in homeschool, which where we are currently. For our schedule it is awesome. It works with services, therapies, Dr appts, extras things and gives us more time to bond and make memories.  I love it!

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This is where my faith was really testing me and I knew I had to confide in him or I would lose everything.  Faith of a mustard seed is not a lot, and I kept telling myself if I didn't have that, what good was I?  Why would he even care?  Crazy thoughts became the grounding I needed to fight for this little boy, for his future, for who he was and who he stood for.  I was so grateful for the education he had, who was in his life and open doors that started to open.  Even then I did not see it. I celebrated achievements, goals, awards, special events, celebrations and our journey but yet couldn't even swallow my pride. 

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Then one night in the summer something happened to me and I just knew what and who it was.  Eli started talking he hasn't spoken up until now and I thought I heard something but certainly not him.  I asked Eli, " Was that you?"  Clearly did not know what I heard but I kept my ears open.  There it was. The first word at the age of almost 4, Momma.  This is common in children with autism.  After reading, researching and learning so much about autism and special needs. I was finding my purpose and my faith. 

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We made it into second grade, and boy so far, a journey it had been.  I became to find myself in this journey, Eli was flinging himself in his ways and just things started to seem "normal."  Being 7 and in second grade, Ive seen more than I ever thought I would. Challenges, successes, happy times, bad times, meltdowns and tantrums {are they different and what do they mean} and so much more.  

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​An autism diagnoses with an ADHD diagnosis had changed me from who I was to who I am today.  Ive taken on so many roles, so many positions, so many feelings and so many ups and downs, twists and turns and ins and outs.  I could not be any happier.  I started taking Board certified classes, started Eli's sensory business, changes in our daily schedule and life and so much more.  My faith is strong and I am a believer in Jesus Christ.  He saved me.  He came to me in my darkest moments, my worst days, the times worried myself sick, the times that the thoughts in my head were not good and I just wanted to give up.  

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Today, Eli has so many awards from perfect attendance, honors society, honor roll, the student who has learned the most and most increasing grades throughout the year.  He has also been on the principle lists and his highest GPA was 3.9.  He has come so far from not sleeping and started at the age of 7.  Eating foods and exploring them by tasting and mixing foods, age 8.  focusing on his personal care and other things he needs in his daily routine to be someone of pride and gratitude.  Eli has made friends, smiles a lot, doesn't worry about anyones opnion, doesnt let life get to him or does he take it too seriously.  He is very loving and loves to give hugs.  Eli loves to adventure and go places but not fully crowded ones.  He loves all things sensory. Eli is very curious and well mannored.  He is very helpful and loves to help others. Eli loves animals and his favorite is dinosaurs.  He has big dreams to become rich and a celbrity. He LOVES his sensory business, loves making producers and making people smile Eli is a well rounded little boy with a bright future.  ​

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I stand firm on the word and believe he did save me and brought me through some serious days and nights.  Nothing is impossible with God.  He makes ALL things new. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He comes to us in our darkest times.  My favorite bible verses, and there is so many are Psalm 23, Psalm 91 and Proverbs 31. 

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Eli and I are so blessed and grateful for opportunities that no human could give us and we give it all to God.  He is the redeemer and savior of our soul. He is the reason for everything.  This website and new founded business is because of him. He made this all possible in his timing. Anyone and everyone who reads this as our testimony please know you are not alone. He is there for you just like he was for us.  

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